The Trouble With Febreze

I recently bought some Febreze for the first time, and I must say that I am slightly trepidatious to use it.

Part of me thinks "It's ok- it wouldn't be on the market if it was a silent killer" but part of me, the part of me that is the loudest and most nagging, has martialled several arguments that defeat that logic.

1. Yes, it doesn't kill you immediately, or even within 4-5 years (I feel since everyone else has used it for 4-5 years and there have been no reported Febreze deaths, it is safe to say that) but what if it's like DDT? You remember those videos from the 60's where the pregnant mothers have DDT being blasted at them and they're all quieting enjoying the DDT-fresh air, talking quietly amongst themselves and having a smoke? And then we find out that DDT causes all sorts of cancers and those women's babies are now mentally stunted individuals who probably all voted for the same person in teh last election whose name I shall not say because I'm OVER IT yes I am. What if Febreze is like that?
   
2. Febreze reminds me of Scotchguard, which they recently took off the market. I always thought Scotchguard was safe too, and it was sprayed on many a family furniture piece. And now it's not safe?
1. on a related note, they should never take things off the market. They should just one day stop selling them, assemble a strike team of cat burglars and all the receipts of all the purchases ever, and then come into your home and quietly take the product, leaving your valuables alone. Then they should erase that portion of our memories with a fun and fruity drink specifically designed for that purpose. It can be the official drink of a new national holiday and so the day after St. Forgetscotchguard's Day we will all wake up, rub our eyes blearily and go find a cure for our fruity drink hangover. And definitely not think about the product that once prevented stains on the couch.

Given the time to think, logical brain fires back the arguments of "you are paranoid" and "when it's your time to go, it's your time to go." I have to say, that last argument is always the one I find most convincing. Off to Febreze my smoky clothes.