Unexpected Beauty is the best. But not when nearly causes you to drive into oncoming traffic
Here is an imaginary conversation with the amalgamation of all the bad characteristics the NY drivers I have encountered so far. I shall call the amalgamation "Selfish Grandpappy"
Me: So what was that back there?
Selfish Grandpappy: What?
Me: The whole "left turn signal for a mile then slow to a stop for a right turn, causing all traffic behind you to stop" thing.
Selfish Grandpappy: That's just how I roll, whippersnapper.
Me: And do you realize that you were half in your lane, half in mine?
Selfish Grandpappy: What is this "your lane" you speak of? All lanes are my lanes to straddle like a easily influenced juror caught between two convincing jurors.
Me: The lane thing I can handle, but your blocking of the intersection back there- dude, two light rotations! couldn't you at least scootch over to the side a little and let the rest of us pass?
Selfish Grandpappy: [has grown tired of the conversation and drove off, squishing my toes in the process]
So to sum up: NY bad drivers are all old, selfish and ignore the presence of everyone else on the roads unless you're impeding them by traveling 10 miles over in the far right lane which for some reason really pissed off the man/minivan combo behind me who insisted on checking out what the matrix had in her back storage area. I hope he liked my picnic blanket.
But the loveliest part of my day was when I was driving up by Garrison and came suddenly on the Bear Mountain Bridge which was literally breath-taking. It's a shame I was driving- that was one moment when I wanted to climb out the sunroof and just look until my eyes burned. What I actually had to look at. A beautiful pic at a website which prolly landed me on a few FBI watch lists just for goin to. (hint: the webmaster is at crushnbugs@militiaman.com) (well, after the @ is a joke, but the graphic implies militia)(eeks!) This picture just reminds me of when Carolyn and I went to Australia and I wouldn't climb the harbour bridge with her because really folks that's just crazy talk. I like to think i'm not afraid of heights, but if the heights are in any way not initially built for human climbing and/or sturdy as all get out, I am. So if you want my secrets, put me on the top of a flagpole and shake it a little and you can know whatever you like. as long as you don't mind being told in a high-pitched hysterical voice. (o, the h word. so wrong!) Ok, time to hit the sack so i can go walk around the upper east side tomorrow. NY so rocks. Why aren't you all here? What's so compelling about where you are that you don't want to up and join me right now?
Me: So what was that back there?
Selfish Grandpappy: What?
Me: The whole "left turn signal for a mile then slow to a stop for a right turn, causing all traffic behind you to stop" thing.
Selfish Grandpappy: That's just how I roll, whippersnapper.
Me: And do you realize that you were half in your lane, half in mine?
Selfish Grandpappy: What is this "your lane" you speak of? All lanes are my lanes to straddle like a easily influenced juror caught between two convincing jurors.
Me: The lane thing I can handle, but your blocking of the intersection back there- dude, two light rotations! couldn't you at least scootch over to the side a little and let the rest of us pass?
Selfish Grandpappy: [has grown tired of the conversation and drove off, squishing my toes in the process]
So to sum up: NY bad drivers are all old, selfish and ignore the presence of everyone else on the roads unless you're impeding them by traveling 10 miles over in the far right lane which for some reason really pissed off the man/minivan combo behind me who insisted on checking out what the matrix had in her back storage area. I hope he liked my picnic blanket.
But the loveliest part of my day was when I was driving up by Garrison and came suddenly on the Bear Mountain Bridge which was literally breath-taking. It's a shame I was driving- that was one moment when I wanted to climb out the sunroof and just look until my eyes burned. What I actually had to look at. A beautiful pic at a website which prolly landed me on a few FBI watch lists just for goin to. (hint: the webmaster is at crushnbugs@militiaman.com) (well, after the @ is a joke, but the graphic implies militia)(eeks!) This picture just reminds me of when Carolyn and I went to Australia and I wouldn't climb the harbour bridge with her because really folks that's just crazy talk. I like to think i'm not afraid of heights, but if the heights are in any way not initially built for human climbing and/or sturdy as all get out, I am. So if you want my secrets, put me on the top of a flagpole and shake it a little and you can know whatever you like. as long as you don't mind being told in a high-pitched hysterical voice. (o, the h word. so wrong!) Ok, time to hit the sack so i can go walk around the upper east side tomorrow. NY so rocks. Why aren't you all here? What's so compelling about where you are that you don't want to up and join me right now?
posted by julia at
1:26 AM
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