There but for the grace of God...
Today I went to Sing Sing. Half of you are prolly thinking "eek! prison!" and half are prolly thinking "neat! prison!" or maybe all of you are thinking both. Because I thought both when they proposed the field trip a few weeks ago at work. However, I quelled my nerves because would they really bring us into the prison if there was any chance that we'd be hurt?
Turns out that question was not as rhetorical as you might think.
This morning, we all arrive a little early in front of the building and get counted up and then divided into the various cars to drive to Sing Sing. (One of the other interns in my office goes up to the judge (after being late) and says "Hi, and your name is?" This judge presides over the courtroom next door to ours. oops) The funny thing about it was that Sing Sing is not isolated at all. It's like house-house-house-house-Sing Sing! And it's right on the Hudson (river front views) and bisected by a train track that runs the metro north. It's seriously weird. (Sing Sing is its official name which surprised me bc i thought it was just a nickname. But no)
The first hurdle was getting into the prison. I go through metal detectors and an x-ray machine everyday to get into work, but Sing Sing is waaaaay more serious than that. We had to pair off, sign in, have our driver's license checked, get a special numbered visitor's pass, and walk through the most sensitive metal detector I've ever been through. It picked up the 2 inch metal spike in my heel and the buttons on my partner's jacket. The only thing we could bring in was our driver's license and the clothes on our backs. Keep in mind that the clothes on my back and the back of all other females were copious- up to the chin and down to the toe. (Sing Sing is sparsely air conditioned) (and you all know how i feel about the ac).
Then we went into a little conference room to have a wee chat before our tour. Did I say wee chat? O, I meant a couple of war stories from our judge (this is a public blog, so i'm keepin 'em to myself unless you call and ask about them) about a trial against some escapees just a year ago and then a lecture from the Corrections Officer who would be leading us about.
Y'know at the beginning of Criminal when you spend a day discussing why we imprison ppl and you learn about the four or so main reasons (punitive, rehabilitative, something and something else) (I should know that... hmmm)? Well, the CO should teach that day of Criminal, because it made so much sense how he was explaining the application of such theories to his behavior. You really got the sense that he was into the rehabilitation of the whole thing. I was impressed how strongly he emphasized treating the prisoners with respect and courtesy, though I know you guys are like "that's what he says to you idealistic law students." But this wasn't an abstract speech, and I can usually tell if someone is putting on a show. Such as every lawyer in the damned courthouse. But anyway.
He told us his war stories (which were awesome!) and that the COs don't have any weapons because those weapons could be used against them. Even their patches have to be machine sewn on a special way so that they can't be ripped off and shoved down the officer's throats. Dude, that's a cold way to take a guy out.
THEN! we saw a video. Now, if they show this video to the potential CO's like they say they do, the COs must be reeeeeeeeally into being COs. I won't regale you with the whole video (as it was a 6 hr visit, I'm tryin to parse bits out) but there are two parts that ... made an impression, let's say
Does anyone remember the SNL episode with Queen Latifah where they were fake-selling a Supreme-like group's greatest hits and the lead singer ends up in prison at one point so she writes a song called "I'll cut you with my shank"? Well, when they broke out the shanks and shivs, that song went through my head and i almost giggled. But I didn't. But dude! the shanks and shivs and etc! pretty much anything that can be filed down has been made into a weapon- they went through like 30 makeshift weapons on the video. It was like evil McGuyver (tm karl tarrant) was working overtime.
This was the grossest thing I have ever heard. And I know the urban legend about the lobster. In the early 90's, it became a prisoner vogue to throw urine and feces at others- the other prisoners, the COs, anyone within poop-throwing-range. They explain the health risks of this to us (it was sandwiched in between the Communicable-disease introduction and the AIDS-from-prisoner-bites sections of the video) (bad verb choice). While the voice over is telling us about what you can get from poop-flinging, they show a real-live video of a prisoner throwing a brimming cupful at a CO. 4 TIMES! The CO initially threw up his arms for protection, but then took them down really quickly (it mainly hit the top of his shirt) and went for his emergency button pager (you get the ERTs out there- more about that later). Now I know that seeing a video of poop throwing is about 20 times better than seeing it in person, and 140 times better than having the poop thrown at you, but seeing it on video was enough to make me throw up a little in my mouth. And I'm not exaggerating (for once). 4 TIMES. [shudders and washes hands many times]. When I called him tonight, my dad already knew about this, and bless his heart that he never told me about it.
So with visions of poop-flinging and dancing shivs filling our heads, it was time to go into the prison! hurray!
First we hit up the infirmary. Now remember that I was under the impression that we'd maybe be in a hallway when a prisoner would be passing through, but no more than that. The Infirmary looks like a college student health center with tiny radiology, dental, and blood depts in it. The doctor talked about the diseases (again) and told us that in his 20 yrs of private practice, he didn't have any law suits, but in his 5 yrs at Sing Sing he had been named in 21 law suits. 18 were dismissed as grounds-less, but 3 were going through the motions. Of course, there's a video camera on every inch of the infirmary so that there are records that the doctors are not abusing the prisoners. Prisoners, as you will come to know, are a very litigious bunch.
But it struck me, faintly, that the people wandering around in green jumpsuits are probably prisoners. Prisoners who have proved themselves worthy of working in the infirmary, but I know what it takes to get to Sing-Sing, and it's not just stealing candy bars. Call me prejudiced, but I don't feel all that comfortable around felons.
Then our CO took us to the "Honor Block" where the prisoners had earned the right to live in a nicer section and have more tv privileges and the right to stay up until 2 on weekends and holidays. So we walk in, and we group up about hmm, 2 feet or so from about 15 jumpsuited guys. I know I'm stupid, but I really thought there would be bars between us and prisoners the whole day. My logical brain had to keep repeating to my freaking-out brain that a) these were model prisoners, b) what would attacking me get them? c) they would lose their privileges if they attacked us, d) the COs were far more exposed than this every day of their lives e) it's been at least 30 seconds and they haven't attacked yet e) repeat a-d, adding 30 seconds to d each time. Prison blocks look just like you think they do (maybe because old prison movies were filmed at Sing-Sing back in the day)- 3 tiers of cells with an atrium in the middle and rails (for the honor block) or chain link (for everyone else) on the outside of the upper levels. We had been told not to make prolonged eye contact or any at all, if we could make it seem natural, so I only looked around a couple of times. It seemed oddly incongruous to see a commercial for Downy on the tv on the wall. I guess I was expecting to see a commercial aimed towards the prison population- soap, or discount shanks, or something.
But then we went to Cell Block A, the largest cell-block in the US (an oft-repeated fact). By that time, I was a little more ok with the thought of being unseparated from prisoners, but these were not the model prisoners, so I was prolly about as freaked out as in the model block. It was a trade-off. Now these guys started with the talking to us. Most of it was "hey- who are you people?" and several of the lads on the trip were graciously informing them who we were, and they requested our legal services and we had a little chuckle together. And then there were the catcalls and the "hey you, you in the suit, you fine, mama, let's have a conjugal visit" (which is quite funny even now). On the flip side, there was also the creepy stuff which was the weird sucking noises (i know, you'd think it would be cliche after Silence of the Lambs, but it was a little different. I just can't really describe it properly, but apparently it's something they all know how to do) (i'm not up on my prison sucking-lingo) and the "this is real, bitches, gangsta, prison sing-sing style" (yes, sir, we're aware that we are at the real sing-sing. thank you for taking time out to inform us of this). It's a weird environment. The cells are tiny- 6x6- and it's all unairconditioned, but there are huge windows from about 10 ft up to the ceiling with river views of the hudson. Lots of the prisoners had books, which was heartening.
Then we went to Cell Block B, which is pretty much the same. Our judge kept engaging prisoners in conversation and they were all like "I'm innocent! I'll send you documents- what's your name again?" Later, our judge was like "I love it when they keep the faith in prison." But anyway, an hour on the inside makes you a wee bit more comfortable around the prisoners. My shoulders were unclenching, and I felt that I could talk very quietly in between cell blocks. Those corridors in between the cell blocks are scary places, tho, all darkish and un-videoed. I would not like to be a prisoner in there. Heck, I didn't like being a non-prisoner in there with an escort.
But I'm making very frequent spelling mistakes, so I must go to bed now. I'm the only intern who will make it in tomorrow- must make a good showing for team intern. I'll finish this tomorrow, yo- excitement to follow! No poop-flinging, tho.
Turns out that question was not as rhetorical as you might think.
This morning, we all arrive a little early in front of the building and get counted up and then divided into the various cars to drive to Sing Sing. (One of the other interns in my office goes up to the judge (after being late) and says "Hi, and your name is?" This judge presides over the courtroom next door to ours. oops) The funny thing about it was that Sing Sing is not isolated at all. It's like house-house-house-house-Sing Sing! And it's right on the Hudson (river front views) and bisected by a train track that runs the metro north. It's seriously weird. (Sing Sing is its official name which surprised me bc i thought it was just a nickname. But no)
The first hurdle was getting into the prison. I go through metal detectors and an x-ray machine everyday to get into work, but Sing Sing is waaaaay more serious than that. We had to pair off, sign in, have our driver's license checked, get a special numbered visitor's pass, and walk through the most sensitive metal detector I've ever been through. It picked up the 2 inch metal spike in my heel and the buttons on my partner's jacket. The only thing we could bring in was our driver's license and the clothes on our backs. Keep in mind that the clothes on my back and the back of all other females were copious- up to the chin and down to the toe. (Sing Sing is sparsely air conditioned) (and you all know how i feel about the ac).
Then we went into a little conference room to have a wee chat before our tour. Did I say wee chat? O, I meant a couple of war stories from our judge (this is a public blog, so i'm keepin 'em to myself unless you call and ask about them) about a trial against some escapees just a year ago and then a lecture from the Corrections Officer who would be leading us about.
Y'know at the beginning of Criminal when you spend a day discussing why we imprison ppl and you learn about the four or so main reasons (punitive, rehabilitative, something and something else) (I should know that... hmmm)? Well, the CO should teach that day of Criminal, because it made so much sense how he was explaining the application of such theories to his behavior. You really got the sense that he was into the rehabilitation of the whole thing. I was impressed how strongly he emphasized treating the prisoners with respect and courtesy, though I know you guys are like "that's what he says to you idealistic law students." But this wasn't an abstract speech, and I can usually tell if someone is putting on a show. Such as every lawyer in the damned courthouse. But anyway.
He told us his war stories (which were awesome!) and that the COs don't have any weapons because those weapons could be used against them. Even their patches have to be machine sewn on a special way so that they can't be ripped off and shoved down the officer's throats. Dude, that's a cold way to take a guy out.
THEN! we saw a video. Now, if they show this video to the potential CO's like they say they do, the COs must be reeeeeeeeally into being COs. I won't regale you with the whole video (as it was a 6 hr visit, I'm tryin to parse bits out) but there are two parts that ... made an impression, let's say
Does anyone remember the SNL episode with Queen Latifah where they were fake-selling a Supreme-like group's greatest hits and the lead singer ends up in prison at one point so she writes a song called "I'll cut you with my shank"? Well, when they broke out the shanks and shivs, that song went through my head and i almost giggled. But I didn't. But dude! the shanks and shivs and etc! pretty much anything that can be filed down has been made into a weapon- they went through like 30 makeshift weapons on the video. It was like evil McGuyver (tm karl tarrant) was working overtime.
This was the grossest thing I have ever heard. And I know the urban legend about the lobster. In the early 90's, it became a prisoner vogue to throw urine and feces at others- the other prisoners, the COs, anyone within poop-throwing-range. They explain the health risks of this to us (it was sandwiched in between the Communicable-disease introduction and the AIDS-from-prisoner-bites sections of the video) (bad verb choice). While the voice over is telling us about what you can get from poop-flinging, they show a real-live video of a prisoner throwing a brimming cupful at a CO. 4 TIMES! The CO initially threw up his arms for protection, but then took them down really quickly (it mainly hit the top of his shirt) and went for his emergency button pager (you get the ERTs out there- more about that later). Now I know that seeing a video of poop throwing is about 20 times better than seeing it in person, and 140 times better than having the poop thrown at you, but seeing it on video was enough to make me throw up a little in my mouth. And I'm not exaggerating (for once). 4 TIMES. [shudders and washes hands many times]. When I called him tonight, my dad already knew about this, and bless his heart that he never told me about it.
So with visions of poop-flinging and dancing shivs filling our heads, it was time to go into the prison! hurray!
First we hit up the infirmary. Now remember that I was under the impression that we'd maybe be in a hallway when a prisoner would be passing through, but no more than that. The Infirmary looks like a college student health center with tiny radiology, dental, and blood depts in it. The doctor talked about the diseases (again) and told us that in his 20 yrs of private practice, he didn't have any law suits, but in his 5 yrs at Sing Sing he had been named in 21 law suits. 18 were dismissed as grounds-less, but 3 were going through the motions. Of course, there's a video camera on every inch of the infirmary so that there are records that the doctors are not abusing the prisoners. Prisoners, as you will come to know, are a very litigious bunch.
But it struck me, faintly, that the people wandering around in green jumpsuits are probably prisoners. Prisoners who have proved themselves worthy of working in the infirmary, but I know what it takes to get to Sing-Sing, and it's not just stealing candy bars. Call me prejudiced, but I don't feel all that comfortable around felons.
Then our CO took us to the "Honor Block" where the prisoners had earned the right to live in a nicer section and have more tv privileges and the right to stay up until 2 on weekends and holidays. So we walk in, and we group up about hmm, 2 feet or so from about 15 jumpsuited guys. I know I'm stupid, but I really thought there would be bars between us and prisoners the whole day. My logical brain had to keep repeating to my freaking-out brain that a) these were model prisoners, b) what would attacking me get them? c) they would lose their privileges if they attacked us, d) the COs were far more exposed than this every day of their lives e) it's been at least 30 seconds and they haven't attacked yet e) repeat a-d, adding 30 seconds to d each time. Prison blocks look just like you think they do (maybe because old prison movies were filmed at Sing-Sing back in the day)- 3 tiers of cells with an atrium in the middle and rails (for the honor block) or chain link (for everyone else) on the outside of the upper levels. We had been told not to make prolonged eye contact or any at all, if we could make it seem natural, so I only looked around a couple of times. It seemed oddly incongruous to see a commercial for Downy on the tv on the wall. I guess I was expecting to see a commercial aimed towards the prison population- soap, or discount shanks, or something.
But then we went to Cell Block A, the largest cell-block in the US (an oft-repeated fact). By that time, I was a little more ok with the thought of being unseparated from prisoners, but these were not the model prisoners, so I was prolly about as freaked out as in the model block. It was a trade-off. Now these guys started with the talking to us. Most of it was "hey- who are you people?" and several of the lads on the trip were graciously informing them who we were, and they requested our legal services and we had a little chuckle together. And then there were the catcalls and the "hey you, you in the suit, you fine, mama, let's have a conjugal visit" (which is quite funny even now). On the flip side, there was also the creepy stuff which was the weird sucking noises (i know, you'd think it would be cliche after Silence of the Lambs, but it was a little different. I just can't really describe it properly, but apparently it's something they all know how to do) (i'm not up on my prison sucking-lingo) and the "this is real, bitches, gangsta, prison sing-sing style" (yes, sir, we're aware that we are at the real sing-sing. thank you for taking time out to inform us of this). It's a weird environment. The cells are tiny- 6x6- and it's all unairconditioned, but there are huge windows from about 10 ft up to the ceiling with river views of the hudson. Lots of the prisoners had books, which was heartening.
Then we went to Cell Block B, which is pretty much the same. Our judge kept engaging prisoners in conversation and they were all like "I'm innocent! I'll send you documents- what's your name again?" Later, our judge was like "I love it when they keep the faith in prison." But anyway, an hour on the inside makes you a wee bit more comfortable around the prisoners. My shoulders were unclenching, and I felt that I could talk very quietly in between cell blocks. Those corridors in between the cell blocks are scary places, tho, all darkish and un-videoed. I would not like to be a prisoner in there. Heck, I didn't like being a non-prisoner in there with an escort.
But I'm making very frequent spelling mistakes, so I must go to bed now. I'm the only intern who will make it in tomorrow- must make a good showing for team intern. I'll finish this tomorrow, yo- excitement to follow! No poop-flinging, tho.
posted by julia at
10:42 PM
2 Comments:
Dude, that's the best thing I've read all week. Thanks.
About the poop video - this was actual surveillance cam footage, right? For some reason, as you were describing it, I was picturing it as one of those horrible videos that they make us watch for diversity training, etc. - soap opera lighting, canned "dramatic" music, freeze frames, overbearing narration.
I'd go with cancer too. Other people's poop is dangerous AND gross. But what ingenuity, yo, thinking up such an effective weapon from the meager tools at your disposal. You have to admire the devious brilliance of it all.
And yes, the poop video was surveillance. There are cameras everywhere in Sing-Sing, I'm supposing for legal reasons (refuting/proving prisoner abuse) as well as the obvious security reasons. And maybe, just maybe if you're very very lucky, you catch a perfect pooptoss on camera. It's like a paparazzi's dream shot.
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