you may remember the last time i mentioned my estate and gift tax book (you may not, I really can't be bothered to find the reference right now, but it was like in september or something) but the woman is trying her very bestest to make E&GT interesting, including referencing Uncle Tom's Cabin ("as Topsy would say, the estate tax has 'all growed up' since the early part of the century") and this fabulous little bit of editorializing:

"Despite radical changes in societal attitude toward the institution of marriage in recent years, the cultural lag which seems to influence all thinking within the Capital Beltway has kept the "marital" part of the marital deduction right up there with motherhood (post-teen, in wedlock, and off welfare), alar-free apple pie, and fireproof flags."

You tell 'em, Willibanks!



(taking that exam bright and early tomorrow then i'm OUT OF THIS PLACE).

My Holiday Card to you:

last christmas
i gave you my heart
but the very next day
you gave it away

this year
to save me my tears
i'll give it to galiano

Things I Don't Like about the Holidays

- Sexualized Santa ("o saw mommy kissing santa clause" and "Santa Baby" being two examples of such. C'mon ppl, is nothing sacred?)
- the spike in suicide rates
- the fact that tv shows go on hiatus just when I have ample time to watch them
- that most Christmas Carols have about five verses that we never hear and one that we hear so damned much that I wish one song was about the estate and gift tax code so that I would have at least part of the damned thing memorized. Y'know, like that They Might Be Giants song about James K. Polk. I know a lot about James K Polk and it's not because of American History class.

I'll add more in the upcoming weeks, but it is safe to assume that i like a lot about christmas.

Welcome, Beavers

Kate and I went to see The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and That Tricksy Waredrobe last night and we thought it was fantastic, which is something considering that we both were anticipating the heck out of it. I didn't really remember the book that well (whereas Kate has seemingly memorized it) so I was genuinely wondering what was gonna happen from about the moment Lucy meets Mr. Tumnus on.*

But after the movie, Kate turned to me and said, with a slight bit of hesitation, "Did you think the relationship between Mr. Tumnus and Lucy was a little ... off?" And I did, o how I did. We both thought of Tumnus as an older, less naked fawn, not a naughty young fawn completely-nude-except-for-a-scarf who tricks little wide-eyed girlies into coming back to his burrow "for tea and toast and maybe even some cakes" and plays lullabies on his "magical flute" for them until they fall asleep in front of his dancing fire. Maybe it's the loss of innocence in today's society, but that seemed a little wrong to us. Last night I had a dream which prominently featured Mr. Tumnus doing a dance that I like to call "the dirty Tumnus" - ask me to demonstrate next time I see you and you'll understand.

Other thoughts:
- Lucy is cute as a button! I love a fat-cheeked child.
- Edmund is the name of many morally corrupt characters in English literature. Note to self: do not name future fat-cheeked baby Edmund or risk being betrayed in some big way.
- Susan and Peter both need to remove the gigantic sticks from their asses before something perforates
- If one day I obtain naming rights to a horse, I'll name him Phillip. Or Chassie, because that's one of those words that would be a fun girl's nickname if it didn't mean something else.
- CS Lewis was very anti-woman. He and TH White totally have a little "Boyz Rule + Girls Drool" treehouse in the middle of slightly-older children's fiction.

That's it, besides the fact that two main characters are beavers, and I can't not laugh at that word. I hope one day I will stop being 14.

"Mr. Beaver"

Did you laugh too? (Kate laughed, but I don't think she'll appreciate me telling you that).



* I did remember the Turkish Delight because when i was a kid and read the book, I thought that Turkish Delight must be the most delicious thing ever and I had to find it. When I did (in a sweet shop in Victoria) I spent my whole sweet allowance for two pieces and low and behold, it sucked major ass. It's like unsweetened jelly fruit the texture of almond paste coated in enough flour to make a cupcake. Those Turks have an odd notion of "delight." I would call it Tasteless Turkish Goo or Turkish Dissapointment. Needless to say, I would demand something else from a stranger with a magical candy potion - if she really wanted my brothers and sisters, she would have to hand over the magical candy potion and a pony and a really nice tiara.

have you listened to all of "In the Closet"? Do you realize that there's a little person (midget for those of you who don't know that they find that term offensive) involved in one of the later chapters? A little person who craps his pants?

How much more bizarre and offensive could that song be? I wish R. Kelly had been true to himself and mentioned his predilection for peeing on underaged girls- R., you should own your run-in with the country's blue laws like George Michael did by featuring it prominently in a video. And you certainly could not make "In the Closet: Chapters One to Eleventy" any weirder.


Actually, if at the end he plugged that book "A Return to Modesty" and decided to become a Shaker. That would make it weirder.

my least favorite amendment is the 4th amendment.

more exam music

the compilation album i think most hollywood music people must have is Ultra Chilled 2k2 because that music shows up EVERYWHERE. I'm looking at you, Zach Braff. Thank God it's a good compilation.


but if you want to laugh, find a copy of paul anka's "having my baby" because it's just so bad that it's super funny in its awfulness.

This Year's Exam Songs

i.e. the songs i listen to over and over and over again to drown out outside noise and lull the freaky-outy parts of my brain

Wildbunch - "Remote Control Me"
Powder - "Up Here"
Rolling Stones - "Dead Flowers"

It's been an agro exam period so far.

Danger: High Voltage

Someone drove into a utility pole on River Road and cut off power to the entire university. Thanks dude! This happened just as people were finishing their exams for the morning so it was an atmosphere of controlled chaos as at least 40 law students freaked out in front of the Dean's office. Poor Professor Murphy got stuck in the elevator for a couple of minutes, but they pried him out before too long. Hopefully he's not claustrophobic- he is a lovely man.

In these times of strain, I'd like to take a moment to say thank you to Ukrops for having a pleasant cafe area with wireless internet where I can sit and finish my paper. I also am listening to the prattlings of a 4 yr old who is just cute as a button (funny little gap teeth and ears like a car driving down the road with its doors open) and says things like "Because it's snowing I can almost see the mountains!" and "We need to get ingredients for cookie dough because Santa likes cookies!" This simultaneously makes me think "I am old enough, both physically and socially, to have a child that age," "You won't be winning logic tests anytime soon, my love," and "O to be 4 again when you didn't know how much snow rocked because it got you out of school but you also didn't know how much snow sucked because it makes you get out of school."

Editing my paper again was not the best idea. I need to just turn it in!!!

animals have problems too, y'know.

detrious 12.3

I hate the theme music to EastEnders 'cause my mom would always hear it and say "hey! eastenders is on!" and then we'd have to watch that instead of what else was on our three-channel tv. And show me a five year old that wants to watch "the everyday lives of the inhabitants of Albert Square in the East-End of London."


gag me with a spoon.


So even now, if i accidently see the opening credits on pbs, it almost makes me cry. I know that seems a little extreme, but I really thought it was brutally unfair when I would have to give up the remote and not be allowed to complain about it. I remember frustration a lot more strongly then i remember pain or sadness.


And for those of you keeping score, I am now two times a bridesmaid! Or going to be if all goes according to plan. Both dresses are gorgeous- yay that my friends aren't bridezillas! But here are some hideous dresses- DO NOT miss "pregnant prom dress." It's j'amazing.