The Misadventures of Team Intern*
Half of the guys I work with peaced-out today. I'll follow in another 3 days and then poor Chris will be left all alone to do the work of 4 (ha!). With their imminent departure, we reminisced about the little blunders of the summer, which i will share with you now. Names disguised to protect me from having retribution visited on my head for exposing them to outside ridicule.
- On the Sing-Sing trip, Intern A showed up late (being the designated ride for Team Intern) and went up to the guy who had just finished giving us a little lecture on what we were going to see. He stuck out his hand and said "Hi, I'm Intern A, and you are?" to which the man responded "Judge ____", as he was the judge in the courtroom next to ours (Judge ___ had not had any trials, so Intern A had not seen him). Intern A, very smoothly for someone who just totally crammed his foot in his mouth, said "Pleased to finally meet you" and then turned to the rest of us and mouthed "Did I just do that?" We were all trying too hard not to laugh to give him a good answer. (for the rest of the day, Intern A was stuck driving behind Judge ____ or sitting next to Judge ___- it was like fate was trying to punish him).
- Intern J leaned over to me (keep in mind I am a lass, and a heterosexual one at that) in the middle of jury selection and said in a stage whisper "That Juror has very large breasts." In another proceeding, he leaned over and said with the same loudness, "That guy across the aisle looks like he could take us all out." O, Intern J...
- The lobby of the building has both a revolving and regular doors. Intern C had just gotten in one of the revolving door sections and Intern A (apparently not thinking) jumped in with him. Both Interns are over 6 feet tall and not gangly, so it was quite a tight fit. Intern A bumps Intern C so that Intern C steps on Intern A's foot and bangs his head on the glass in front. This situation is made all the more awkward by the fact that Team Intern had only met a week ago, so we all got an odd impression of Intern A in the beginning.
- Intern J, sitting in the auxilliary judge's chair in the back of the courtroom, was busy saying "Objection Overruled" and pointing like our judge when our judge came strolling into the courtroom.
- Today, there was another fire drill. Since there are fire drills all the time when the building gets too hot, we ignored it (with the blessing of anonymous court worker). When after 15 minutes, the alarm went off, we all emerged from our hidey hole and walked out into the passageway, where 7 court officers caught us. We were really up a shit creek until anonymous court worker came out, and took charge of Team Intern, steering us away from the angry Court Officers. Once Team Intern and ACW got into the elevator, we all giggled like pranksters.
- Intern J, after the Sing-Sing trip, offered me a ride home. We all said goodbye to Intern A, who was driving us, and was just about to head up to Maine for the weekend. When Intern J and I got to his car (5 flights up) Intern J realized that he had left his keys in Intern A's car. Intern J's spare keys were in Long Island, Intern A was completely unreachable, and needless to say, I got home much later that night while trying to help Intern J find a ride home. To Long Island. From Westchester. I bet that was a long-ass drive home.
-When we were waiting in the backcourt conference room (our judge and clerk and the parties and their lawyers being in the court room) I took the opportunity to check out what crap was being stored in there. I found a "Big Mouth Billy Bass" on top of the coatrack, and Intern M (a new addition to Team Intern) said "Press the button." In the second I thought about it, that seemed like a good idea, until Billy started his raucous anthem in a voice so loud that putting it under my jacket did absolutely no good at all. Keep in mind our proximity to actual court goings-on. Then I had the Bright Idea to put him in the bathroom, the floor-to-ceiling tiled surfaces and door adjoining the courtroom making this the worst of all possible ideas. [ETA- I was talking to Intern C today, and he said "You put it in the bathroom and shut the door like it was just going to go away, but then it was louder and you were freakin out and going to take the batteries out when it stopped. But you know that if the judge had said anything about it, we would have said "O, it was [Other Intern] totally." Hehe :)] Billy's song is not terribly long, and Team Intern recovered from the giggles by the time we were called into the courtroom. Our esteemed clerk gave us a look, however.
This is just a flavour of our hijinks. For court interns, it really makes us sound dumb as a box o' rocks. But luckily, none of this goes on our resumes. Hurray!
*I think I called us Team Intern because of The Life Acquatic, but I can't remember if that's what the interns were called. But here are some fun quotes from the movie that relates in some ways to our plight as interns:
Steve: Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.
Steve: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No, they have to share one.
- On the Sing-Sing trip, Intern A showed up late (being the designated ride for Team Intern) and went up to the guy who had just finished giving us a little lecture on what we were going to see. He stuck out his hand and said "Hi, I'm Intern A, and you are?" to which the man responded "Judge ____", as he was the judge in the courtroom next to ours (Judge ___ had not had any trials, so Intern A had not seen him). Intern A, very smoothly for someone who just totally crammed his foot in his mouth, said "Pleased to finally meet you" and then turned to the rest of us and mouthed "Did I just do that?" We were all trying too hard not to laugh to give him a good answer. (for the rest of the day, Intern A was stuck driving behind Judge ____ or sitting next to Judge ___- it was like fate was trying to punish him).
- Intern J leaned over to me (keep in mind I am a lass, and a heterosexual one at that) in the middle of jury selection and said in a stage whisper "That Juror has very large breasts." In another proceeding, he leaned over and said with the same loudness, "That guy across the aisle looks like he could take us all out." O, Intern J...
- The lobby of the building has both a revolving and regular doors. Intern C had just gotten in one of the revolving door sections and Intern A (apparently not thinking) jumped in with him. Both Interns are over 6 feet tall and not gangly, so it was quite a tight fit. Intern A bumps Intern C so that Intern C steps on Intern A's foot and bangs his head on the glass in front. This situation is made all the more awkward by the fact that Team Intern had only met a week ago, so we all got an odd impression of Intern A in the beginning.
- Intern J, sitting in the auxilliary judge's chair in the back of the courtroom, was busy saying "Objection Overruled" and pointing like our judge when our judge came strolling into the courtroom.
- Today, there was another fire drill. Since there are fire drills all the time when the building gets too hot, we ignored it (with the blessing of anonymous court worker). When after 15 minutes, the alarm went off, we all emerged from our hidey hole and walked out into the passageway, where 7 court officers caught us. We were really up a shit creek until anonymous court worker came out, and took charge of Team Intern, steering us away from the angry Court Officers. Once Team Intern and ACW got into the elevator, we all giggled like pranksters.
- Intern J, after the Sing-Sing trip, offered me a ride home. We all said goodbye to Intern A, who was driving us, and was just about to head up to Maine for the weekend. When Intern J and I got to his car (5 flights up) Intern J realized that he had left his keys in Intern A's car. Intern J's spare keys were in Long Island, Intern A was completely unreachable, and needless to say, I got home much later that night while trying to help Intern J find a ride home. To Long Island. From Westchester. I bet that was a long-ass drive home.
-When we were waiting in the backcourt conference room (our judge and clerk and the parties and their lawyers being in the court room) I took the opportunity to check out what crap was being stored in there. I found a "Big Mouth Billy Bass" on top of the coatrack, and Intern M (a new addition to Team Intern) said "Press the button." In the second I thought about it, that seemed like a good idea, until Billy started his raucous anthem in a voice so loud that putting it under my jacket did absolutely no good at all. Keep in mind our proximity to actual court goings-on. Then I had the Bright Idea to put him in the bathroom, the floor-to-ceiling tiled surfaces and door adjoining the courtroom making this the worst of all possible ideas. [ETA- I was talking to Intern C today, and he said "You put it in the bathroom and shut the door like it was just going to go away, but then it was louder and you were freakin out and going to take the batteries out when it stopped. But you know that if the judge had said anything about it, we would have said "O, it was [Other Intern] totally." Hehe :)] Billy's song is not terribly long, and Team Intern recovered from the giggles by the time we were called into the courtroom. Our esteemed clerk gave us a look, however.
This is just a flavour of our hijinks. For court interns, it really makes us sound dumb as a box o' rocks. But luckily, none of this goes on our resumes. Hurray!
*I think I called us Team Intern because of The Life Acquatic, but I can't remember if that's what the interns were called. But here are some fun quotes from the movie that relates in some ways to our plight as interns:
Steve: Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.
Steve: Anne-Marie, do all the interns get Glocks?
Anne-Marie Sakowitz: No, they have to share one.
posted by julia at
10:32 PM
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