My Crazy Life, or How I Stayed Up til 5am Without a Drop of Alcohol or Human Interaction.
Three cups of coffee. At Noon. What would it do to you? To the delicate system of Julia, it's like Liquid Awake. Sunshine in a Cup. Up and At 'Em for the Better Part of 24 Hours Juice.*
Around 9, I'm having some nice alone cleany time (a lil vacuuming, a lil mail sorting) and I think "Hey, I'll start watching the Undeclared Box Set because It's 9 and nothing is good is on." Then next when I look at the clock, it's like 11:30, so I think "Well, I'll watch one more episode then hit the hay."
Next time I look at the clock, It's 3am.
Now gentle reader, you may be thinking "It was Thursday and what are you- 24? You should be staying up til 3 on a daily basis and 4 on Thursdays and not sleeping at all during the weekends! Suck it up, creampuff!" First, I'd have to revise your name- that's not very gentle at all. Second, I'm a creampuff, I am. When it's hay-hittin time, I hit it fast and hard. If you talk to me when I'm on the verge of sleep, I will have thoughts about hurting you. If you talk for more than a minute, I consider it perfectly polite to fall asleep on your garrulous ass. Then when it's time to wake up in the morning, I hit the snooze button for a half hour at the very least. I love sleep, sleep loves me, I'd marry Sleep and we'd have tiny narcoleptic children if it were possible. But it just wasn't happening last night.
Luckily, Guy Downstairs was still awake. Quick sidenote about Guy Downstairs. Apparently, the apartment complex got all new people over the summer and they are fabulous fun. Girls Down the Hall are always traipsing around in tight clothing with cupcakes (ex-sorority girls maybe?), Guy Who Shares the Balcony likes to pee off my side of the balcony (did I write that fun little interlude up? O, it was fun! and an interlude. And I won't comment on the little part, because I had buried my head in the pillow once I heard him unzip his pants) and Guy Downstairs is always having parties on his balcony. I think with grad students, because they all look a little nerdy and one time I heard them discussing Sarte and pronouncing his name all fancy-like. I enjoy the crowd now- everyone's all noisy (tromping around on our wooden floors) and Guy Downstairs apparently stays up late.
Back to the Main Thread: I had a delicate choice on my hands. I wasn't tired, but the dictates of society say that I should wake up at some time the next day. But Guy Downstairs was still awake, and there was more Undeclared to watch, so I put off the decision for a while. That means that I made the decision to stay up, but passively, and in a way that I could possibly blame Seth Rogen** on being so enchanting as to make me stay up later. Naughty naughty Seth Rogen.
I digress. Fast forward, if you will, in the way that a clean-up in an 80's movie would fast forward ("O no! Mom's gonna be home in 14 minutes and there are solo cups and drunken party goers everywhere!") suddenly, it's 4:30. Four Thirty AM. I haven't seen 4:30 since the last time my parents and I had to catch a plane to go on vacation. And that was the other end of 4:30, which is just different. My superego*** put an end to the crazy fun party that was organizing my notes and watching tv on my computer (so it's better, right? I choooose to watch this show without commercials, so it is a better experience than flipping channels forever) and I went to bed. But not to sleep. That happened around 5am.
So if you saw me today and you noticed my bloodshot eyes, that's why. Strangely, I awoke with only 5 hours under my belt and I feel great. What is that? My body is a strange beast. But I'll keep it. For now.
*That's a stretch, I know.
**On the commentary, he wanted to put a running David Mamet joke in an episode. Dood, I had a running David Mamet joke with some English Major friends in college where we'd say (to keep from outwardly cursing) (Mommy, cover your eyes) "As David Mamet would say, 'Fuck you'" Man, that really cracked my shit UP around 2000, 2001. And a little bit today. David Mamet jokes are wholesome good fun.
***I sounded like one of the rowdy grads at Guy Downstairs party right there, eh? Next, I'll break out some Camus and really get the party started! Ooo, I'm a nerd.
Around 9, I'm having some nice alone cleany time (a lil vacuuming, a lil mail sorting) and I think "Hey, I'll start watching the Undeclared Box Set because It's 9 and nothing is good is on." Then next when I look at the clock, it's like 11:30, so I think "Well, I'll watch one more episode then hit the hay."
Next time I look at the clock, It's 3am.
Now gentle reader, you may be thinking "It was Thursday and what are you- 24? You should be staying up til 3 on a daily basis and 4 on Thursdays and not sleeping at all during the weekends! Suck it up, creampuff!" First, I'd have to revise your name- that's not very gentle at all. Second, I'm a creampuff, I am. When it's hay-hittin time, I hit it fast and hard. If you talk to me when I'm on the verge of sleep, I will have thoughts about hurting you. If you talk for more than a minute, I consider it perfectly polite to fall asleep on your garrulous ass. Then when it's time to wake up in the morning, I hit the snooze button for a half hour at the very least. I love sleep, sleep loves me, I'd marry Sleep and we'd have tiny narcoleptic children if it were possible. But it just wasn't happening last night.
Luckily, Guy Downstairs was still awake. Quick sidenote about Guy Downstairs. Apparently, the apartment complex got all new people over the summer and they are fabulous fun. Girls Down the Hall are always traipsing around in tight clothing with cupcakes (ex-sorority girls maybe?), Guy Who Shares the Balcony likes to pee off my side of the balcony (did I write that fun little interlude up? O, it was fun! and an interlude. And I won't comment on the little part, because I had buried my head in the pillow once I heard him unzip his pants) and Guy Downstairs is always having parties on his balcony. I think with grad students, because they all look a little nerdy and one time I heard them discussing Sarte and pronouncing his name all fancy-like. I enjoy the crowd now- everyone's all noisy (tromping around on our wooden floors) and Guy Downstairs apparently stays up late.
Back to the Main Thread: I had a delicate choice on my hands. I wasn't tired, but the dictates of society say that I should wake up at some time the next day. But Guy Downstairs was still awake, and there was more Undeclared to watch, so I put off the decision for a while. That means that I made the decision to stay up, but passively, and in a way that I could possibly blame Seth Rogen** on being so enchanting as to make me stay up later. Naughty naughty Seth Rogen.
I digress. Fast forward, if you will, in the way that a clean-up in an 80's movie would fast forward ("O no! Mom's gonna be home in 14 minutes and there are solo cups and drunken party goers everywhere!") suddenly, it's 4:30. Four Thirty AM. I haven't seen 4:30 since the last time my parents and I had to catch a plane to go on vacation. And that was the other end of 4:30, which is just different. My superego*** put an end to the crazy fun party that was organizing my notes and watching tv on my computer (so it's better, right? I choooose to watch this show without commercials, so it is a better experience than flipping channels forever) and I went to bed. But not to sleep. That happened around 5am.
So if you saw me today and you noticed my bloodshot eyes, that's why. Strangely, I awoke with only 5 hours under my belt and I feel great. What is that? My body is a strange beast. But I'll keep it. For now.
*That's a stretch, I know.
**On the commentary, he wanted to put a running David Mamet joke in an episode. Dood, I had a running David Mamet joke with some English Major friends in college where we'd say (to keep from outwardly cursing) (Mommy, cover your eyes) "As David Mamet would say, 'Fuck you'" Man, that really cracked my shit UP around 2000, 2001. And a little bit today. David Mamet jokes are wholesome good fun.
***I sounded like one of the rowdy grads at Guy Downstairs party right there, eh? Next, I'll break out some Camus and really get the party started! Ooo, I'm a nerd.
posted by julia at
6:45 PM
2 Comments:
you have an excellent blog here, full of witty cultural commentary and endlessly amusing anecdotes. i have to thank our mutual friend joe for pointing me to it, as it has afforded me countless hours of entertainment. i'm new to blogging myself, but you can check out my blog at...
kidding. what's up with this hooey? sneaky sneaky. and your balconymate urinates off of your balcony? frightening. i have not had a drink in a month. we need to "party" like undergrads with christian's and pina coladas.
:) k (yeah, i don't "party." i know.)
i know, right? I get at least 2 of those excellent blog here's my business comments a post. It is hooey, utter hooey. and you need to go buy yourself a bottle of something. on me. then bring it over here. It's only an hour drive if you speed like crazy.
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