$70 Poorer, But Buns of Steel in My Future
or Being Merely Mortal, I Surrender to the Siren Call of the Dee-luxe Gym.
They were running a special ($49 down and $1o a month with no contract- cancel anytime) and the hellhole is ... well, a hellhole, so i joined Planet Fitness (4 convenient locations! but no free parking at the one I go to!)
While I was filling out the paperwork, the "trainer" was informing me that "Planet Fitness is a Judgment Free Zone™ so we want you to feel comfortable here, free to fulfill your fitness needs."
It wasn't until he said "Judgment Free" that I thought anyone would be judging me, and then i had a momentary stab of "i look like a sweaty labouring beast on the machines- do people really judge me while I'm working out?" And then I had many logical, organized thoughts that I attribute to my training as a lawyer-to-be.
a) If they do judge me, That is Very Shallow of them because I am Not Endeavoring to Win A Beauty Pageant while Using the Elliptical so How Dare They.
b) If they want to judge me, no corporate "Judgment Free Zone™" policy is gonna stop them.
subthought b) Is Planet Fitness heralding the arrival of the thought police? It is our judgment of each other that makes us free! Freely judge me, beautiful blonde people! Scorn my sweaty flesh and brown hair! Down with Big Brother! Especially the TV show because It Is Awful!
c) Who are these people in that I would care that they would judge me for going to the gym? Who could hold that power over me? I cannot name even one. Sticks and Stones, bitches, Sticks and Stones.
d) I know he's just fulfilling his role as my official greeter to the gym and it is very sweet of him to think that I care, but may I give him a look that says "save it, muscle boy"?
In the end, I had to just ignore him because it is difficult for me to copy the numbers of my credit card without screwing them up. But just in case, they provided me with a little leaflet on the "Judgment Free Zone" that ends with "You Belong!" Well I better- I paid $57.67 for the privilege.
I shall begin "fulfilling my fitness needs" tomorrow. Wee! I cannot wait! Sweet sweet air-conditioned exercising- how i have missed you!
They were running a special ($49 down and $1o a month with no contract- cancel anytime) and the hellhole is ... well, a hellhole, so i joined Planet Fitness (4 convenient locations! but no free parking at the one I go to!)
While I was filling out the paperwork, the "trainer" was informing me that "Planet Fitness is a Judgment Free Zone™ so we want you to feel comfortable here, free to fulfill your fitness needs."
It wasn't until he said "Judgment Free" that I thought anyone would be judging me, and then i had a momentary stab of "i look like a sweaty labouring beast on the machines- do people really judge me while I'm working out?" And then I had many logical, organized thoughts that I attribute to my training as a lawyer-to-be.
a) If they do judge me, That is Very Shallow of them because I am Not Endeavoring to Win A Beauty Pageant while Using the Elliptical so How Dare They.
b) If they want to judge me, no corporate "Judgment Free Zone™" policy is gonna stop them.
subthought b) Is Planet Fitness heralding the arrival of the thought police? It is our judgment of each other that makes us free! Freely judge me, beautiful blonde people! Scorn my sweaty flesh and brown hair! Down with Big Brother! Especially the TV show because It Is Awful!
c) Who are these people in that I would care that they would judge me for going to the gym? Who could hold that power over me? I cannot name even one. Sticks and Stones, bitches, Sticks and Stones.
d) I know he's just fulfilling his role as my official greeter to the gym and it is very sweet of him to think that I care, but may I give him a look that says "save it, muscle boy"?
In the end, I had to just ignore him because it is difficult for me to copy the numbers of my credit card without screwing them up. But just in case, they provided me with a little leaflet on the "Judgment Free Zone" that ends with "You Belong!" Well I better- I paid $57.67 for the privilege.
I shall begin "fulfilling my fitness needs" tomorrow. Wee! I cannot wait! Sweet sweet air-conditioned exercising- how i have missed you!
posted by julia at
11:38 PM
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